Cock Spots

my ghey blog

2007-03-03T10:46:00.000-08:00

Haha, it seems a shitload of you are coming from Williamsboard if my stats are correct (twice in one day - first the cakes and now this!). Yeah, I guess I should find that typo somewhere, but I'm too lazy at the moment. Anyway if anyone wants to contribute anonymously (or not) feel free to email me: minty@moistandtasty.com.

I should clarify something: 1. I'm not "the Myopenbar chick." I've contributed to them in the past, and she's done the same here. She's super awesome and all, but if anyone cares for whatever reason, we're not the same person.

We didn't make it to see Jason last night, and I'm genuinely sorry (he did say he would text us if he saw any cute boys). Savalas has just had that weird, desperate crowd the last few times. Usually there are a few dudes trying to get your attention in the form of piercing stares, thinking that creepy ongoing eye contact will somehow give you the sudden urge to insert his penis in your vag. Or, two Middle Eastern I-bankers will flank you on the dance floor, "Night at the Roxbury" style, and get angry if you ignore their charms. When you finally get away from them, you have to then figure out how to politely decline the guy from Ohio in full wood-chopping gear throwing out some of the most bizarre pick-up lines I've ever heard, and then be thankful when a few of the young local kids start buzzing around and giving him shit for his attire. We look forward to when the more lighthearted crowd takes over again.

Some other friends were DJing at Daddy's last night, and it was a very pleasant crowd with about 45% sporting some "carefully downtrodden" facial hair. A few guys walked by and Jess's face lit up, "hotness!" It looked like another one of my friends was getting lucky in a booth. All in all, a nice ending to a long week.

Catching Up

* Home Sweet Home - I wish it wasn't a pain in the ass to get here, because taxidermy and basements are always a good combination. What I find miraculous is the relative lack of douchebag clientele, given the location. There were definitely some cuties near and behind the bar.

* Motor City - I hadn't been here in about 2 years, and was glad to see the "buy a drink" dry erase board was still in operation (I remember actually *using* it when I lived a few blocks away...in 1997!). Most importantly, the boys' haircuts were still as well-maintained as remembered.

* The Greenpoint YMCA - I just renewed my membership here, and have been amazed by the view in the cardio room...it's definitely provides additional incentive.

* Uncle Paulie's - How can you not love a place with the feel of a church basement or VFW hall?

the long weekend

2007-02-19T10:39:00.000-08:00

this will have to wait, since I need to take advantage of some needed President's Day recovery.

2007-02-11T22:27:00.000-08:00

Jason had texted me saying he was on the way to K&M..."where is that again?" I replied. When he told me, I thought, "OH! That place."

K&M is the place Jessica and I always refer to as the "Poor Man's Royal Oak." When they first opened, we noticed the interior was similar, but the seats were sunken and kind of busted, and the place itself was a bit smaller. On the other hand, they have a magnificent beer selection, the details have more character, and the crowd in general is a little more mature. We had great hopes in the beginning, but the past few times involved attention from weirdos. We'd been meaning to try again, and last night was the perfect opportunity. There were definitely a lot of cuties in the place, including these two:

I also ran into an old friend who said she'd just been to Supreme Trading, and that the band's friends were smokin'. We did check it out afterwards, but I think they'd moved on by then.

what can I say?

2007-02-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

I can't create something out of nothing!

Seriously. I mean, there have been a lot of repeat destinations...Union Pool continues to amuse and entertain, not to mention a consistent gallery of boycrack. I've been pleasantly surprised by Tommy's Tavern during their shows (but not as much without an event in the back room).

I do want to mention that a lot of cuties have been showing up for Drink & Draw at Royal Oak every 1st and 3rd Tuesday.

Tomorrow I might see some Rubulad action, though everything is up in the air. If all goes well tonight, I should have some new material tomorrow.

the Geeee train

2007-01-25T20:40:00.000-08:00

Why is it that the evil G train suddenly varies its schedule when my new Greenpoint-LIC stop crush has been "officially" recognized?

pros and cons

2007-01-24T18:18:00.000-08:00

I love hanging out with Jason and Andrew because they're so atypical of most of the guys in the neighborhood. Also, no one is going to fuck with me in their presence. The bad part? No one is going to fuck with me. But what the hell...at least I can scope out cuties in relative anonyminity.

First stop was Tommy's Tavern, and I knew we'd missed the band we wanted to see. We had a drink in the front, while completing some tasks. There was some overflow from the show inside...several haircuts, which were adorable. We then checked out the Mark Bar for the first time in a while, and I saw absolutely nothing promising.

The plans included Duffs for their first year anniversary, but it was way too crowded. They wanted to try Cyn, and when we stepped in the middle doorway, I said, "take a look - are you sure?" They said, "yeah! why not?" Two minutes after entering they said, "let's go!!" Yes, it was THAT bad. On to Savalas for a quick round, and saw some familiar faces along with some hotties (then again, I was in the care of two somewhat intimidating figures). Lastly, we ended up at Spike Hill, and it was my first time I'd actually made it here. I'd heard terrible things about the place, but didn't see what the big deal was. There were even two mighty handsome guys, but I suspect they were gay...as the day is long.

ZZZZzzzzzzzz

2007-01-15T23:54:00.000-08:00

I should be doing this, but I'm still wide awake. I'm totally gonna update this thing tomorrow...

even hot boys need groceries

2007-01-02T22:13:00.000-08:00

* The last 10 days or so have been kind of a blur, and quite honestly much of the celebrating took place in friends' homes. I can still report with confidence that if you want to have a relaxing weeknight and quiet conversation while focusing on one or two hotties playing pool, you can never go wrong with The Abbey. The second fact is more of a revelation; Jess and I have been monitoring the Boulevard Tavern situation, and I can finally say the raysh has gone the other way! I really wanted to spend more time here, because the owner's other place went up in flames and he seems like a genuinely good person. The establishment itself is a fine place with a pool table, BBQ, and douchebag-free atmosphere...the only problem was the ratio of girls to boys, which was heavily skewed the wrong way the first few times we visited. This time, however, there were at least two by the pool table and 3 up front who warranted multiple glances, and even a swoon.

* I had to run out on New Year's Eve day (late afternoon) for laundry and a couple of quick errands. I had no makeup on and bad jeans, so of course I run into 4 hot guys at the laundromat, 2 at the ATM, and another 3 at the store. WTF??! I ended up at a "Night of a Thousand Madonna" party, which was awesome (and yes, there were cute boys). You can meet Black Lung below...he decided to go shirtless shortly after midnight:

* As far as my time in England, what can I say? I think I already mentioned that the concentration of hotness can be overwhelming at times. I was staying mostly in the Hanover neighborhood of Brighton, in the vicinity of the art school. Although there was a lot to see in hangouts such as the Arc, Hectors, Pressure Point, etc., I think the most delightful surprise was a local Sainsburys. I'm kind of a dork when it comes to grocery shopping; it's a nice distraction to everyday stress, and I can just zone out. Groceries in foreign countries are an extra special treat...even the most mundane pork pies and pickled beets have additional appeal. I guess that also goes for your neighbors strolling the aisles. My neck had a slight case of whiplash as my eyes darted from the biscuits in my hand to the ones heading towards the dairy. A couple of days later I went to check out the other grocery store on the street, just one block away (Sommerfields). It was bigger, but totally deserted. Subsequent visits to both confirmed that, not only to even hot boys have to eat, but they prefer Sainsbury's.

catching up

2006-12-22T18:23:00.000-08:00

I do intend to cover a bit of my trip, but I think most of us know that hot ass is prevalent pretty much everywhere in the south of England.

In the meantime, the aforementioned boy who wants to be pimped out has given me permission to link to his Myspace page. Enjoy!

tonight

2006-12-15T09:37:00.000-08:00

If you're in Brooklyn, I'd say Cockfight at Daddy's (look it up if you don't know the location) is a good bet.

I get the impression that Doug probably had another terrible week at work and needs all the fun he can get (someday I'll give you that Ativan!). You guys need to help Forest make the most of a new dad's evening out, and I heard somewhere that Ron might wear pants. and Joel? I didn't know he was participating but anyone who throws Derby parties every year also deserves some love.

True, Cockfight tends to draw a lot of chicks, which is all you guys need to know. I'm betting that if the girls are there already, then maybe the dudes will get their asses in gear and follow.

Needless to say I'll be meeting up with some friends at a pub down the hill in a couple of hours, and we'll be seeing a bunch of shows at a couple of venues on the beach. Yeah!! If all goes well, I'll then board a 5:30 train to Dover and ferry to Calais for the day to eat dangerous food.

_________________________________________

COCKFIGHT IST TONIGHT @ DADDY'S

Music like a bullet in your head, drinks like a steam train through your guts, people like a swarming hive of wasps. It's recommended that you don't smoke PCP if you're going to COCKFIGHT, tonight at Daddy's (437 Graham @ Frost, Williamsburg). That way, you'll be able to appreciate DJs Doug Mosurock, Forest Love and Mr. Vacation like a functional human being, and enjoy their heady vinyl blend of all sorts of rock and dance musics, for both mellow and stone cold hyped times.

10p-4a, no hope in dope.

Death Drug

intermission

2006-12-11T02:06:00.000-08:00

I'm playing in the lands of skinny English boys and unpasturized milk cheese at the moment...will update soon.

pimping my cute male friends: 1st in a series

2006-12-03T16:39:00.000-08:00

The guy in question is 29, adorable, intelligent, and fucking hilarious. He basically wants a sugar mama for "goods and services." Upon inquiring about what kinds of "goods and services" he prefers, he replied, "you know...like a juicer. and a pair of shoes." In exchange, your wish is his command (he will even make out with boys while you watch!). I'm not kidding. If you would like more information, contact me.

highlight of my week

2006-12-03T11:02:00.000-08:00

Although I thought that East River Bar would have made a fine destination last night, everyone was wanting to stay in Greenpoint because of the weather. How bad could it be?

I met them at Lulus, and walked into a cloud of french fry air. Don't get me wrong - I genuflect at the altar of the deep fryer, but I can do without taking it with me (my OCD issues are bad enough without imagining I'm nestled in a bath of stale oil at that crucial moment before falling asleep). Plus, there was just no one on the premises for which it would have been worth braving the fry air. Lulus, what happened to you? I had such high hopes. I mean honestly, I probably would have seen more hot ass at the Pencil Factory, even if it was in the form of older, craggy Euros wrapped in layers of sweaters. My friends proceeded to finish their drinks quickly, since the air was becoming a major issue.

We then headed around the corner to Coco66. It wasn't exactly a celebratory kind of evening, since we were trying to console a friend who'd just been dumped by his lady the day before. It turns out this had happened at the end of a week that also included an urgent job search, and one more thing he was initially reluctant to tell us.

"Go ahead...they can take it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! We can take it."

He revealed the last item, which was indeed a whopper. This led to his next sentiment, which more than qualifies as the quote of the month:

"You know it's been a bad week when the colonoscopy was the highlight."

I was tempted to leave this as a comment on his Myspace page

That was definitely the highlight of my time at Coco66. Something is just WRONG with this place. It has so much potential, but the crowd makes no sense. I don't know how to describe it, but you have the same icky feeling as you do when leaving Laila.

The girls then separated from the boys, and we decided to finish our Greenpoint adventure at the Mark Bar. I didn't expect much (though they make an incredible dirty martini), and it was even worse than my lowest expectations. We walked out immediately when it was apparent we'd be sharing the space with a bunch of meatheads, especially since we were steadily approaching the "desperate hour." Instead we headed down Manhattan Av to either Enids or Matchless; a chance meeting with Tommy Rockstar on the street confirmed that Matchless might be a better choice.

It wasn't bad at all, actually. I have to give the owner credit for hiring decent-looking bartenders. You may also see an adorable Japanese barback...we went on a few dates a couple of years ago, after he delighted a crowd of ladies at one of Deb Parker's male burlesque shows at Union Pool. I can personally verify that he's a fun maker-outer.

Ultimate Fighter

2006-11-27T21:02:00.000-08:00

This is what I feel like at times...we headed to Savalas to see our friend DJ (though I guess that really makes no sense). Jessica was busted, since the guy she hadn't texted back just happened to be there, WITH HIS FRIENDS. From what I understand, some of them were part of BKKB Team Prison and universally hated. It was pretty hilarious, and eventually I was chatting with one of the friends visiting from New Hampshire. He sounded Canadian, which is always a good sign.

What I couldn't understand was why he kept smiling and gesturing to his drink, saying, "zero calories!" I asked, WHAT IS UP with this "zero calorie" bullshit, and he excitedly told how he was training for the "Ultimate Fighter" reality show tryouts in Florida within the next couple of weeks. I shit you not. What do you say to this information? It's kind of awesome in so many ways I'm not accustomed to considering, but I still can't tell the story without cracking a smile...I just picture those multicolored playpens, Tarzan ropes, giant hamster balls, etc.

UF then wanted to know how old I was, and was pleased with the answer. "I love older women." Yeah. That sounds familiar.

"why are girls dating him if there are euros to be had?"

2006-11-17T17:56:00.000-08:00

This was the quote we came up with the day after last Friday. Which makes it Saturday.

We began the evening at Matchless for the free Hopewell show...you know how you can count on some bands to consistently draw a good-looking crowd? This is one of those bands.

After a quick detour to a friend's place, we then headed to Savalas to see/hear Jason and his DJing prowess. Somehow, we gathered two Euros and whisked them away to Union Pool. Actually, they said they wanted to be "someplace like here but with more people" so UP was the logical choice. The four of us mingled, and in the meantime I was hanging out with a guy who had done time for dealing, but was quite engaging. He was wearing a hat of some sort, and when Jess and the Euros came back the three of them had decided we were all going back to their place. She took me aside and, over the music, screamed, "YOU HAVE TO DITCH THE HAT."

He didn't need to hear that at all, and I may or may not have left him gracefully before we headed to the crazy Euros' commune by the river. They showed us various paintings, but none could compare to the illustrated diary etched on a napkin...drawings of their naked Indian guy neighbor, the other guy who wanted to get into the blond's pants because he was "the opposite" physically (the blond Euro had a 'fro, and the interested party had a black one. Ah, language barriers...anyway, I think one was from Barcelona, and the other Milan. I had to pee, and was unnerved by the space-age minimal "bathroom" with screens basically in the middle of the room.

Jessica and the blond guy were getting along nicely, but I was just really, really tired. I think the other guy and I were just both mutually not into it, despite the fact I was loving their weird energy. I was really really tired, and took a nap until 6am. My goody bag (from the aforementioned volunteer event) and I trekked home so I could wake up in my own bed, and not awkwardly encrusted in eyeliner next to some reluctant Euro.

Oh yeah, the quote...we were discussing the recent breakup of two people, and we can't fathom why the guy part of this former couple is currently a "player." Jessica said, "Why would chicks go for __________ when there are Euros to be had?" My sentiments exactly.

Saturday night a bunch of us went to a friend's deep fry party. Later, a few of us took a car service back to Williamsburg, and I just wanted to go home. Jessica scoped out UP and then Royal Oak, and ended up running into a cute boy who had had a crush on her during the summer! She's been on 3 dates with him this week. I guess it's a sign that RO is definitely on the upswing again.

Ok, I'm now leaving for tonight's festivities...I won't be so lazy in posting the next time.

"volunteering"

2006-11-15T13:34:00.000-08:00

(trying to catch up before the official beginning of this weekend)

You know when people bitch and whine about never meeting anyone and being "sick of the bar scene?" Someone inevitably replies you meet "quality" people in the park, produce aisle, riding bikes, sitting around all day in coffee shops, and of course volunteering. Of course you will see hot boys doing these activities at one time or another, but who is really fit to determine what constitues a "quality" person. Exactly.

Let's talk about this volunteering thing; it usually conjures up do-gooders in soup kitchens, but it can be somewhat glamorous, depending on the situation. I volunteered last week for an event. There were a lot of celebs and a few hotties at the event, and there were definitely two smokin' babes alongside me.

I've been kind of swamped

2006-11-15T13:33:00.000-08:00

for the past few days, or just plain lazy.

kind of an amazing Saturday

2006-11-08T21:10:00.000-08:00

I finally had the chance to check out Crash Mansion for the Holy Fuck CMJ matinee. I've heard people bitch about this place profusely, and while the scene is most likely much different during the evening I had abslolutely no complaints. When you're about to see a few skinny hairy Canadian kids with epileptic fits playing some of the best noise rock I've heard in a while, in a crowd of only 25 with an excellent "raysh," you're thankful to be alive.

Next my friend and I went to a totally forgettable showcase at a place called Annex on Orchard. I wasn't too crazy about the crowd.

Later I met up with some friends for the Vice party at KCDC in Williamsburg, There was plenty of looking to do, not to mention a fun band in the rafters. It seemed like the whole neighborhood was there, and after the open bar was finished a bunch of us headed to Union Pool. Yes yes, I'm going to go on yet again about this place...but I want to reiterate that if a girl ever needs a serious ego boost she should head directly here. I got a few shouts of "you're beautiful!" and the source of one of them came from a face resembling Johnny Depp's younger brother (he later got me in a lip lock). This kind of behavior is pretty uncharacteristic of the neighborhood boys, and I suspect Union Pool is a nexus for out of towners.

For whatever reason, we ended the night at Royal Oak. This place had been going downhill for a while, but I think it's making a comeback (because it's winter? The boys seem to multiply here in the cold weather, go figure).

here and there

2006-11-04T09:55:00.000-08:00

The goal of last night was to hit two CMJ shows and catch up with some friends. The first destination was Union Hall in Park Slope. One of my friends books this place, and I was finally able to check it out.

When you enter upstairs, don't be frightened by all the aggro-yuppies with wool sweaters on the indoor bocce courts. Just head directly downstairs to the venue, where you'll be greeted by the Slope brand of cute indie boys. And, if you can believe this, one of them actually smiled and asked my name! While this neighborhood is known for SUV strollers, lesbian couples and just couples in general, it seems that if you can find where the guys are hiding, you'll be rewarded by actual manners.

After this, I boarded the F train to Arlene's Grocery on the Lower East Side for the next show. This is one of those places not on my radar untill CMJ season rolls around. The crowd? Although it was a specific cross section of industry out-of-towners and the "blatantly trying too hard old-school rock style" kind of Manhattanite, I think it's still fair to conclude that the dudes here on a given night are going to be kind of yuckola.

2006-11-02T22:10:00.000-08:00

I discovered the main disadvantage of dressing up as a conjoined twin (attached at the butt cheek) for Halloween night...location, location, location. After attending our friend's birthday party at Black Betty, we headed to Zablozski's to visit Lisa. We sat upon two bar stools pushed together, facing forward. After about 15 minutes the people on each side of us had started talking to both of us as a unit, but in order to talk to the opposite twin it was necessary to shout. By default, Jessica was able to talk to the crazy Israeli, and I was stuck with the nice but way too intense "regular" (nothing against him, but I was too tired for his particular questions).

The Israeli had a friend named "Happypill" who sat silent until his introduction, then grinned as he offered us Tic Tacs. We briefly entertained the idea of moving ourselves between them, but both of us had to rise early the next day.

I keep meaning to make some little pics to represent the kinds of guys we see on a given evening...if I had one now, I'd insert a Eurotrash (in the good way) icon.

Back in the Saddle!

2006-10-29T23:17:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday (the weekend was mainly devoted to home parties) we made it to a few familiar places...we first stopped by Savalis to see a bunch of people I hadn't seen in MONTHS, and then the three of us had made a pact to go someplace we hadn't been in a while. Larry Lawrence seemed to be a good candidate. It was actually promising at first until we realized all the hot, well-dressed men didn't have eyes for us (even with Deann's cut!). Not a problem, but we were kind of confused as to when this place "turned gay."

After that we saw the Clem's sign and wondered if our old friend Jeremy was working. Sure enough he was, and there were actually a few fine faces that caught our eyes enough to stay later than we'd anticipated. I now recall that Clem's is pretty solid and dependable, and if you're lucky to see Jeremy bartending, he'll take very good care of you.

"storefront"

2006-10-19T03:33:00.000-07:00

I did manage to find the place most of Portland's tenderoni (google it!) will end up on a given night, especially when last call is 2am and the party here starts around 2:30. You have to know where to find such a place, and unfortunately I'm not in the position to reveal such a thing. I can say you might find activity here a couple of nights during the week, and especially one weekday in particular.

If you ask around, someone is bound to tell you.

brief hiatus

2006-09-21T15:47:00.000-07:00

Recent events have temporarily made frequent updates a low priority. They will be back again in a few weeks, mainly when I get back to NYC. Sightings will be more numerous, and I'll need many activities to keep my mind off other matters.

"big night out"

2006-09-07T05:17:00.000-07:00

We decided it would be best to cover as much ground as possible, given the fact I'd decided to be the "designated driver." First, we headed to Dunes, a place we'd heard about from our cab driver earlier in the week. After doing a bit of reading about the place, I was really excited to see it. We arrived around midnight, and there were only about 10 people hanging around in a tiny room with a dj and laser lighting. I think there were a few notable specimens, if not the potential for more, but Jess wanted to leave. We then tried Holocene, because we'd heard so many people go on about it. I'm just going to say the band was terrible (though it would have been more amusing if i'd been drinking), and bad bands do not draw cute boys! So then we approached the exterior of The Basement, and it actually looked OK inside, but we never made it there since Jess was drinking scotch that evening, and they don't have a full liquor license. We then headed back to Slow Bar, but even that place was fairly empty. I'm still not sure where everyone goes on a Saturday night here? I do want to check out Dunes again on another night.

Aalto

2006-09-02T18:22:00.000-07:00

After a friend's dinner party, we ended up here. A friend had taken me here in Feb, and I remember being impressed by a decent "raysh." It was still nice, but not so crowded...however, there were at least 3 guys in the room worth scoping out. If you consider the fact that the room may have contained 10 people total, that's not bad at all! Our friends showed up later with a bunch of people in tow, and there were also a few decent looking guys in that batch.

Our cab driver told us about a place we're eager to check out...looking forward to this! Tonight we may also try for a couple of places on Alberta, or head back to Southeast. We hear Tube is best during the week, so we'll save this for Sunday or Monday.

Mixed bag

2006-08-27T16:33:00.000-07:00

not our scene

is it coughing?

We had heard good things about the Doug Fir, and a visit with my cousins for dinner seemed promising. However, last night's investigation was less than exciting. It's not necessarily a bad scene, but just a bit confusing, and ultimately not what we were looking for. The crowd was kind of bridge and tunnel, with a bit of LA cheesiness thrown in (a lot of this is probably due to the fact it is adjacent to The Jupiter, Portland's "rock n roll" motel. a great idea in theory, but not too sure about the execution). At one point, a girl fell to the ground, and you could feel the THUMP of her head against the concrete 20 ft away. A girl next to us ran over immediately, knocking Jess's drink to the ground. This was actually pretty cool to see her instinctively react to the situation, and she kept profusely and needlessly apologizing to Jess (with what I had to deal with earler in the evening, we reassured her we understood completely).

Ok, now that the heartwarming part is over with, I'm going to mention that one of the injured girl's friends was wearing exactly the same shirt I was, so I slipped my sweatshirt on when we left and passed by the table.

Within walking distance was another place we'd heard about, Slow Bar. Despite the fact that the most of the boys weren't necessarily our type, it still FELT better. One guy in a fedora came over to chat us up, and instantly became defensive when he mentioned he worked as a designer for Nike. He then gestured to his Southern CA sun damaged friend at the bar and said, "he also works for Nike." Jess then replied, "Do you guys have to go to THE VILLAGE every day? (this joke might be lost on anyone who doesn't live around here).

The Fedora eventually went outside, and his profile cast a sinister shadow in the window. I just had to capture it. Remember the scene in "Suspiria" when the girls' rooms were overrun with maggots and they had to sleep in the gym? Hehe.

Later, a nice fella with a crazy scabbing gash running across one cheek hailed us a cab, I at first thought it was some new Portlandey exclusive creative facial hair, but Jess insists it was a scab.

2 stoves and a stripper pole

2006-08-25T14:37:00.000-07:00

We headed to Colosso again to see Steve the bartender. He said it was a great night for us to stop by, since the owner had just sold the place and was having her going away party. It was still a consistently foxy crowd, and so close to where we're staying! Anyway, when we were leaving, two guys asked us if we were "going to the party." We said, "sure, where is it?" We hopped into a car and were introduced to Josh and Old Man Coatsie. If you look at his Myspace profile, he is beloved not only in PDX, but also NYC and LA as well. We too were totally charmed by this guy, especially since we've decided he's the 36-year-old version of Chris.

They took us to someone's loft above a bar called Tube (we plan to check this place out next week). The loft had a stage, two stoves, and a stripper pole, upon which the host's girlfriend was dancing in a g-string (no pix of this - it's cockspots, after all!). The boyfriend was constantly taking photos, and a few people watched the show while everyone else was just shuffling around. I met another couple of handsome (not to mention very personable) young men, and one just happens to be another bartender at a place on 18th and Alberta. Jess found a cute newly-turned-21-year old, and he ended up driving us home.

Colosso

2006-08-24T12:58:00.000-07:00

Jess and I have selected our Portland watering hole for the next couple of weeks, Colosso on NE Broadway and 20th. It's a lovely tapas place with a dark, crusty interior, and hot bartenders. One in particular, who resembles a combination of two of our friends, also works at a newish bar close to My Fathers Place (where, if memory serves me correctly, you will encounter guys in their 20s and 30s who look 50. I wonder if this is related to the fact that a lot of dudes here have an eerie resemblence to the Unabomber?). We shall be stalking him there on Sunday.

There was ONE issue with one of the patrons; evidently he was friends with said bartender, but not quite so outgoing. In fact, he had that "Portland guy with a chip on his shoulder" vibe, which I guess didn't surprise me. They knew the owner of a delightful restaurant in my neighborhood (Queens Hideaway), and we thought that was incredibly cool, reacting with appropriate enthusiasm. Other Guy then just kind of sneered a bit and asked me why I was here. "My mom is terminally ill, and I'm helping with her home care," I cheerfully replied. I think that jolted him a bit.

Now, I know not all guys here pull that shit, but as a whole they are defintiely not as friendly as New York (especially outer borough) fellas. Maybe it's because New York City has the "champagne of tap waters?" Who knows.

I didn't mention the Doug Fir from last week, but the crowd seemed pretty acceptable. I did get the impression that the guys were "trying" a bit too hard, but maybe it's the overflow from the "rock n roll motel" adjacent. We will be checking this place again, as well as others. I'll also get around to more pics in the near future.

2006-08-22T01:51:00.000-07:00

FYI, have you seen the new Food Network show "Ace of Cakes?" This Geoffrey Manthorne dude is officially the hottest thing on reality TV (not to mention, footage of a scrappy chick in skinny jeans and a tattoo delivering a wedding cake...I thought I was the only one...). Good stuff.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_db

(He's standing directly behind Duff.)

Totally related to the clip of him standing outside the location of Jeep groom cake location, sighing something to the effect of, "I could have written the word 'jeep' on the side of a cake and it wouldn't have made a difference," after the groom and his friends immediately attacked the cake upon arrival.

Sorry I can't deliver you pertinent Brooklyn info at the moment, but I think I can now deal with all the aforementioned number crunching.

New Seasons

2006-08-21T16:43:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned before, I'm going to be in PDX for a while. The reason for this isn't allowing me to get out that much at the moment, but I'll do what I can.

My sister and I have been noticing that one of the local grocery chains hires some remarkably handsome young men. She tends to go for the heftier guys, so she likes this one particular fellow in the meat department. I typically prefer the scrawnier ones, so the hipster stock boy with the curly hair and ass crack carefully arranging the natural sodas is more to my liking. We both did a double take at the recent guy handing out goat cheese samples.

The only grocers hiring hot boys in NYC seems to be Trader Joes...the old skool places need to get a clue.

Hottest boy in PDX so far

2006-08-16T03:49:00.000-07:00

Fuzznuts

Belated Grand St. crawl

2006-08-16T03:42:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be in Portland, OR for the time being, and haven't really been in a position to go out. I did find some cocktail napkins from two weeks ago, when Jess and I made notes on a round of bars in the Grand St area (tho not all are on Grand). Here's what I've been able to decipher:

11: 15 - Savalas: not so promising
11:38 - (can't read est): a little more promising...guys able to accessorize
11:39 - (somewhere else): Jess and I debating Misfits T-shirt guy
11: 48 - (completely unreadable)
12:00 - Iona: Errrr
12:05 - Trash: 1.5 cure boys, and smells like McDonalds
12:25 - Foodswings for their version of "bacon cheese fries." Don't understand why they couldn't use crispy fake bacon instead of the limp substance. I hate that devoted carnivores like me could kick their asses in vegan cooking. Anyway, just saw a few angry looking filthy bike messenger types and dudes who probably drink herbal tea on a Saturday night.
12:40 - some est called "Rosso." we poked our heads in and said, "no fucking way."
12:53 - (I don't know about the time lapse here) back to Savalas, and it wasn't much better. Frankly, I don't care for guys in super baggy pants. How are you supposed to know what's underneath? What if he's pear-shaped?

We also noticed there was no more Tainted Lady, and we also feared the same for Larry Lawrence. Jessica did find the latter on a recent night.

The evening ended at Fun (N4th and Driggs), and I think this will be happening more often. It's all about the hot hipster gay boys, the ones that make you swoon with "what a waste!" Despite their team, they will still dance really filthily with you, and the ambience is similar to someone's basement.

argh

2006-07-31T21:15:00.000-07:00

I really do have a lot of new content, but my computer is in the shop for a few days. So there.

Moving forward

2006-07-28T14:46:00.000-07:00

I'm going to try for a few weekend reports, but after next week a family situation will put me on the West Coast for a while. In my absence I shall enourage my trusty contributors to step up for the cause.

At least I'll have a little time to remotely create the new template and crunch the data so far into a handy Google Mash-up, or something like that.

Bembe field report, and the Pool

2006-07-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

According to Jessica, lots of hot Mexicans and Colombians crammed into a tiny space dancing their asses off. Yay!

Ok, so Young Rick Springfield was not in attendance. Luckily, Waiver Boy was signing everyone into the waterslide, and many of the dodgeballers were shirtless this past week (though there was one guy who definitely should have kept it on...seriously).

Shirtless Delights!

2006-07-22T17:53:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, last night's energy was focused on gettting intoxicated rather than scoping out man meat due to a very stressful week. I was, however, impressed at the crowd for Savalas's open bar (vodka and Yuengling, 10:30-11:30 on Fridays). A particularly cute boy with tats and a messenger bag smiled and said, "hello!" then proceeded to tell me about how he accidentally saw his (male) friend's "sexy" panties when he tried to wake him to to have some fun (they turned out to be boxer briefs). Jessica found one to her liking, but he had to be up at 6am to trim trees for the city (!). There were other familiar faces, like Jordan and his friend whose name I can never remember.

Next, we were off again to the ever depandable Union Pool to meet friends for OJ and Forest's party (see a pattern here?).

I think I'm staying in tonight to finish a project for Monday, but I've been promised a field report...

rules of thumb...

2006-07-18T21:30:00.001-07:00

Buzzcocks= hot boys
Guns and roses = hot boys
siren = hot boys (yes, our greek shippng heirs from iowa)
eagles of death metal, new york dolls, les savy fav...

Do you guys see a trend here? kick ass band= kick ass eye candy.
Let that be the first rule of thumb.

The McCarren park pool parties are a given, so ladies, thats about 7 or so more every sunday this summer. Aside from minty's dodgeballer, you girls should especially take note of the boy working the waiver forms at the slip-n-slide.

This saturday, I've got a family thing, but there's this animation festival at the automotive high school. Vic Thrill and Saturn Missile are playing, (kick ass band) coupled with dozens upon dozens of goofy animator/cartoonist types. I went to SVA and i felt the animation department had a good percentage of hotties. So that's a promising scenario....

Stalking Young Rick Springfield, Week 2

2006-07-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

Jessica and I have decided to *officially* "stalk" the Young Rick Springfield, at the McCarren Pool shows, who also seems to be a dodgeball aficionado. He has a ridiculously pretty face, and Jess likes his happy-go-lucky, spider monkey presence. One of these days, we resolve to find out his name and snap a clearer pic, as a service to all of you! Again he was there, strutting his little spindly body around the pool.

Siren was as we expected, a nexus of hotness. B.A. and Dee met two Greek model shipping heirs (from Idaho?). I'll let her tell the story, since we weren't travelling in the same parties. Jessica and I noticed a loner, sitting on the sand, staring at the sea (AWWWWW). I told her to throw something in the trash, and attempt eye contact. Sure enough, she smiled and sat down next to him! He ended up hanging out with all of us the rest of the evening...my my such blue eyes and exquisite cheekbones!

They are there, trust me

Friday night, Punk Ass Jason had his night at Savalas. Now, every time beforehand, he'll send a text saying, "Bring the Hos!" OK JASON, WE'VE DONE OUR PART. Friday night, for the most part, was a bunch of hot chicks (most of which whom were my friends) and a bunch of jocks at the bar watching. So, spread the word...now you know where to find us. This is part of the purpose of Cock Spots, to tell the dudes where the hell we are so they can find us. Get it??

If you see him spinning, there WILL be hot girls. So get your asses over there.

Normally I'm not going to post this kind of photo, but I just wanted to illustrate the hot lady raysh, so the dudes know exactly where to go.

O.J. heard about another new Friday night party at CoCo666, and went to check it out. He reported that is was a lot of fun, except that the crowd was really uptight and unfriendly. I thought about this for a second, because the neighborhood crowd doesn't pull that shit...then O.J. remembered one of his MANHATTAN friends told him about it. Ahhh, 'splains everything. Some of you Manhattanites are so fucking high-maintenance. Perhaps next Friday when we're more organized, I'll bring my own posse. I just LOVE annoying the shit out of aloof assholes.

Just so you know, there will soon be some number crunching with the data we've collected up to this point.

Hot Ass

2006-07-14T11:08:00.000-07:00

I shall be using the term "hot ass" liberally, to increase the traffic here. I'm sure you won't mind.

I haven't had a chance to figure out exactly what's going on tonight, but this particular hot ass will be parked at Savalas for Punk Ass Jason's party. Can't stay out too late, since Siren is tomorrow! I'll be sure to take photos for your pleasure.

Belated Buzzcocks and other loose ends

2006-07-13T13:11:00.000-07:00

I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised at the variety of dudes in attendance, especially the age range. You easily found the craggy, old skool punks (after the 2nd band, turning to us and saying, "they got 1978 down!") alongside the 17-yr-old kids. I loved it!

The first band was called The Strays, and did their thing. Yup, totally cute, and English (ever notice how an English accent will make a guy look that much better?).

The Strays (apologies to Paul Storey for the PS butchery)

Right before the second band, a guy was running through the crowd, and immediately Brian snarled, "white belts are SO out!" Said guy hopped on stage, and he turned out to be the lead singer for The Adored. Adorable indeed! We loved that, while he had not only the detested white belt but another studded one, his pants still kept falling down during every song, exposing the top of a delectable set of snow-white orbs.

The Adored (same goes to Rick Edwards)

The Buzzcocks, of course, were amazing. As much as I want to discuss the music of this lineup, I need to stick to the format.

***********************************

From the latest Todd P email - "An awesome shítstorm of rawk and whatnot hurling your way over the next few days..." Just go to his site and see your yourself. We have discussed the goldmine of tasty sightings at his shows.

***********************************

I promised an update on Matchless, so here it is: give it another try! I know in the past we've skipped this place due to the all too familiar faces we've been trying to avoid (if you saw them you'd say, "ah! I know which ones."). A different crowd has begun to take over, and I look forward to seeing how this plays out. So, after leaving Enids on a particular evening with a long face due to lack of tail, don't overlook "that place across the street from Enids." If anything, at least you can play Foosball.

2006-07-11T17:02:00.000-07:00

The wonderful Punk Ass Jason has enabled B. A. and me to see the Buzzcocks at Warsaw tonight!

As far as tomorrow, I'm just gonna cut & paste from the Myspace bulletin. There are sure to be some lookers at both of these events.

Date: Jul 11, 2006 4:27 PM
Subject: two fun Manhattan activities tomorrow nite

(I love that two of my friends are doing their Mahnattan events on the same night, consecutively.)

1. Doug is spinning at the Delancey:

"Wednesday 7/12 -- I've been asked to help Plexifilm celebrate the release of the double DVD set "WE JAM ECONO: THE STORY OF THE MINUTEMEN." It's at the Delancey (168 Delancey at Clinton, LES)/ 7:30-11pm. Free Miller beer till 9, free BBQ till it rus out, giveaways of DVDs, t-shirts and other stuff, and me DJing from 9 till 11. FREE. It'll be fun, a nice time, trust me. You love the Minutemen, and if you don't, you're dead to me. Simple as that."

2. Adolph Hipster is hosting a new Wednesday party at Route 85a:

2006-07-10T18:27:00.000-07:00

I think we were all pretty pleased at the outcome of Sunday's Pool Party. Waves of hotness as far as the eye can see...this is going on through September 3rd, so I'd highly recommend checking it out.

One of the attractions was the dodgeball court. I was watching some of Les Savy Fav, when Jessica urged me to come back to the dodgeball game. She then brought my attention to these two friends, one of whom looked EXACTLY like a young Rick Springfield! The other was totally not dressed for the occasion, but they managed to play a great game. Yes, I am fully aware they fall into the "gay teen hustler" genre of savoriness.

Dandy ass shot:

The Hot Tub after party is held at Club Studio B, formerly known as a Polish disco called Club Ice. The space is gorgeous, and had a nice raysh going, despite the sparse crowd. I'm hoping these will catch on, but they're gonna have to offer some kind of drink special; $9 Jamisons and $5 Buds aren't my cup of tea. Still, it's doable with some serious God Bless Deli pre-game.

***********************************

I'll update this space with Friday tomorrow; I'm kinda tired. I'll just say it involves a greatly improved Matchless (across from Enids, which seems to be the 50 year old bike messenger of bars lately in terms of handsome, unattached boys).

Les savy HOT

2006-07-10T07:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, the pool was chock full of hotties yesterday, but none can compare to the bass player of les savy fav (who rocked the fuck out btw, but this blog is about the cock and not the rock.)

It was hard dancing whilst totally weak in the knees.
He's the one in the white T-shirt:

mmmmmmmmmm..... wheaties....

to Friends of LauRenn

2006-07-07T09:53:00.000-07:00

Evidently LauRenn is surrounded by cute boys in her office ALL DAY and has neglected to inform the rest of us. I delivered a birthday cake (bling!) for her boss this morning, and couldn't believe all the industrious little animators at their computers.

************************************

Did I mention the practice spaces on Berry and N 13th (I think this is the location - the awning reads, "Big Apple" Windows or Doors or something)? Lots of tasty treats hanging outside, most hours of the day. In fact, one of them tried a hilarious pick-up line on the 4th as I was walking back from some World Cup action. I totally looked like ass and had my Ipod playing, yet this guy smiled as I walked by and shouted, "are you going to the party?" Smoooove. Upon stopping and actually inquiring about the party, he didn't have the info "yet." Hehe.

************************************

OJ and Forest are DJing Saturday night at Union Pool, and this should be quite a set.

************************************

Sunday Pool Party at McCarren Pool - I cannot put into words how awesome this will be.

4th and beyond

2006-07-05T20:55:00.000-07:00

I'm still recovering from this past weekend, but will share what I can...the Kickball Tournament took place on Saturday at McCarren. Mikki was correct; the Rye Coalition dudes were indeed foxy. There were also teams from DC, RI, Jersey, GA, and Canada (fresh meat alert!) present, and they were all adorable. We were particularly fond of Toronto's roster.

The same evening I caught these Toronto boys in the Nest, B.A. and I also saw these two guys wander in off the street in their marching band gear. They were from New Orleans, but we never found out about the outfits.

Oh, and on the 4th, Royal Oak was charging a $5 cover. How lame is that??

viva la revolution

2006-07-02T14:36:00.001-07:00

Went to Iona's with Jeffy bright and early on Sat for the England Portugal game, we thought we'd try a non-Zabloski's venue.

Warning: shallow generalizations follow.

OK, British boys in bands, ala the Gallaghers, etc: hot. British boys who are soccer fans--not so much. Especially when they are drunk and yellng stuff at eleven AM. Jeff was crushed by England's loss, but I secretly cheered! That David Beckham is cute, if you like the rugged lantern jaw types, but overall, the Portugeues team was not only better at footy, but better looking. So there. We watched the second game partly at the Turkey's Nest and partly at Fada.

I can't really report on kickball, I watched none of the games, and I knew everyone on the dance floor. The dudes in Rye Coalition: super cute, but I didn't talk to them. I do, however, have extensive footage. Maybe I will post it! Or I can give it to BA to edit a hottie highlights reel.

Me and Jane are going to get cameraphones (I realize I have been saying that for a year) and also set this thing up for mobile blogging so the action! will! be! live!

The end.

New spot? to scope out honeys

2006-07-02T09:07:00.000-07:00

Am I late or is this spot new?? Whatever man Water Taxi Beach is my new favorite spot. If you live in Greenpoint you can fucking walk to this place! Finally a beach I can hang out at nearby! It's a fake man-made beach and you can't swim, but you can lay out and scope out the scene, play volleyball, dance in the party tent, they sell burgers, beer, and fries. Hell fuck yeah

Friday the 30th

2006-07-01T11:10:00.000-07:00

Mikki, I was going to ask about that! I ended up taking a long nap, and figured I missed most of the fest. We did swing by Supreme Trading afterwards to check out the after party, and if this was the same crowd, then yes indeed there were lots of cuties (Jessica said, "I think if film is involved, the boys will be hot").

After this, we had a drink at K&M (N 8th at Roebling). This is the place we also refer to as the "Poor Man's Royal Oak," and now "Union Pool Jr." The crowd was a little older, but the dudes still had it going on. I really dig this place because the whole scene reminds me of some other city.

OJ was DJing at UP, so of course we ended up there. Not so much here this evening, but there were 20 million gazillion events going on, and the same holds true for today.

Ok Mikki, I suck...OJ and I had planned to see the 3pm Brazil vs France today. Will report on this as well as the kickball tournament.

Anyone have a report from the Prospect Park show, or the two Todd P thingys??

mccarren pool --japanther

2006-07-01T06:09:00.000-07:00

Many cute boys and it was in the fucking pool! Everything rules. I am off to meet Jeff @ Zabloski's, see you there Janey.

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!!

2006-06-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

Oh Hell Yeah

Lots of fine people on the Girdle Building rooftop, including OJ's favorite new friends (pictured above). I ass Q: if girls are supposedly not attracted to the sight of two boys kissing, then why were these two surrounded by hot chicks the whole evening? I know for a fact that one of them likes girls, and that's really what matters, right? We will keep you updated with details on the "Hipsterfaggots" party.

I can never remember this guy's name, but he's the captain of Brooklyn Kickball's John Cougar Mellencamps. In addition, he wanted me to tell all the fine ladies to pay him a visit at 84 Clinton.

After the party, we ended the evening with dancing at Savalas. This was a good night for the establishment, and it's becoming apparent that this is a pretty dependable place if you want to get some action.

Quote heard on rooftop last night

2006-06-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

"Remember that time i was fucking you up the ass with no lube and your asshole got all inside out??"- from Brian or Chris (i forget who's who, those two fags are interchangable). Those guys have quotes up the yinyang I just can't remember them all. They are having a party in 2 weeks called "Hipsterfaggots" and you have to wear the hipster accessory of the moment which is a shoelace used as a headband (this may change by then) and a little totebag (more hip if you're a guy). There will surely be hot people of both sexes there. Don't worry girls- these hot gay dudes like getting down with girls too

"Where da party be at?"

2006-06-24T20:05:00.000-07:00

IN MY PANTS, OJ!

lvng 4 prty nw, updt 2mrw

Where the hot boys are

2006-06-24T12:35:00.000-07:00

Rainy Friday Night at Lulu's! Franklin ave and Greenpoint.

Open bar from 1-2am and skeeball was enough of an attraction to get me out to this bar after a dreaded night of working for the man in the cubicle farm that is my own personal hell.

Sadly the hot people (that were not my friends) were few and far between. The crowd consisted mostly of the pesudo albercrombie-model crowd that you could find at most watering holes in Long Island or any Dave Matthews concert...but there were a couple of hot metal girls, and a bartender that I instantly fell in love with while I was uh...being...served.

I'm assuming the rain kept most of the local jawns away.

However if you go there and do spot a hottie you will be able to impress them with the knowledge that despite one of the skeeball games being broken you can reach in and take out balls to roll until your hearts content.

love in all the wrong places

2006-06-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

This is actually OJ's story, but I'm going to be an asshole and tell you about it first: last night he fell asleep on the L train somewhere between Manhattan and the Bedford Stop. He awoke to find a "Mami" with a generous posterior affixed to his lap! Ok...on second thought, he needs to tell the story himself.

We did have a revelation today - both of us are friends with all the hot boys and girls within a 10 mile radius. This is problematic. Thank goodness for the constant influx of transplants!

It might be a slow weekend, due to the fact that we are to be hit with thunderstorms for the next few days.

Noteworthy...

2006-06-22T12:08:00.000-07:00

Union Pool is much less like Union Tool on weeknights. Last night was a pleasant surprise.

weekend update

2006-06-19T14:26:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: My definition of HOT has evolved in the past couple of years. I mentioned the lack of balls in most brooklyn boys in my previous post. So let this be a warning that most of my posts are about finding other options besides skinny indie rockers who get their periods more than girls do.

That said, on friday night after a roof party, we hit Duff's in brooklyn. Total metal, dirtbag biker bar. I loved it and embraced every square inch. it's about 75% scary biker dudes and metal chicks, but there is a contingent of cute punkasses. There's a great carefree vibe throughout the place and not a trendy pretentious asshole in sight - so don't go if you're an asshole. Or listen to Death Cab.

Saturday was my aforementioned beach day. I got blown off my my beach buddy for a world cup gathering(passive aggressive blog alert!) and hit Brighton Beach and all it's Ruskie goodness. Among fat men in speedos and fat women sunbathing in their translucent bra and panties there was some delectible specimens kicking around a soccer ball, providing me with my own world cup. One cutie even had natty dreads, who retrieved the ball from my blanket apologising profusely. I giggled like a college girl (when i was into natty dreads.)

Saturday night there were alot of hotties at enids, but they were your typical hipster fare.

Sunday - turkey's nest post-softball - just like i was saying before. Look out for the pretty boys in pink.

from the founder, to you

2006-06-19T11:23:00.000-07:00

My laptop is in currently in the hospital, and I won't be hooked up at home for a week. I'll do what I can in the meantime, but my trusty contributors will be entertaining you for the most part.

Here is a quick list of hot spots from the past week:

1. Brighton Beach (B.A. texted me describing her "own personal World Cup" of shirtless Russians playing volleyball).

2. D. Grip's account of a Mexican punk fest - I have begged him to keep us updated on this development, and any future events involving this untapped resource.

3. Weekend World Cup games (see Mikki's report below), esp Brazil vs. Austrailia and France vs. S. Korea. Yummers!

4. More weeknight confirmation on the dependability of Union Pool and the suckage of Royal Oak. Bear with me on the repeats, because this will come in handy later on.

world cup part le deux

2006-06-19T05:05:00.000-07:00

Text messages on Sunday:

mikki: I just walked past Zabloski's and there are a lot of cute guys inside watching the World Cup.
jane: Come back! I am inside.

hahaha

Saved tattoo

2006-06-15T17:11:00.000-07:00

Some of you ladies that like tattooed dudes might wanna scout tomorrow's Saved Tattoo relocation party at their new unfinished location Hope/Roebling corner, 9-ish o'clock. Scott says BYOB, but some booze will be provided. shit you may even get a new tat-fuckin-too!

jocko not-so-homos

2006-06-15T14:27:00.000-07:00

I was at first skeptical of posting this, as to not fuck with my own raysh advantage but I'm over it.

The softball fields/turkeys nest on Saturday/Sunday provides lots of eye candy. As opposed to Kickball, it's not chockfull of skinny indie rock pussies (who I've sworn off...although there have been some cute little punk rockers surfacing on the BKKB front) but some of these guys actually have a set of balls - a foreign concept to any girls who's tried dating in the Williamsburg/Greenpoint vicinity over the past 5 years.
They're also a little bit older. Not that there's any wrong with those afflicted by "AKS" (Ashton Kutcher Syndrome - the youngins diggin on the ladies in their prime)but sometimes you need a little quasi-maturity. Sometimes.

strangeways

2006-06-13T09:12:00.000-07:00

You never know where you might meet someone. I am not one of those people who get hit on a lot (you know who you are!)--I tend to engender intense obsessions irritatingly mated with an inability to act on them or to shed the harem of women willing to do his chores and cut his hair. But I digress!

This weekend: Birthday party for a six-year-old. I was joking that I was going to flirt with the clown, but he was too creepy even for me. Then I got asked out by the twenty-six-year old who was helping the mom put the party on. Cute, but way below my cut-off age.

Wedding for two close friends: I was sure I would be the only single person there, and I was, except for my friend Jane, who was so wasted by the time I got there that I really had to thank the lord for my sobriety. (Not Jane Minty, btw.) But there were two single guys there, who both asked for my #, which is hilarious, but one is in a band (NEVER AGAIN) and the other is a slut (AKA SAME THING WITHOUT THE BAND.) They might have been good for flings, but too close to my inner circle.

Um, what is the point. I guess, that you never know. Or, that if you go places where everyone else is paired off, sometimes it works in your favor.

Spanish punks

2006-06-12T12:38:00.000-07:00

Saturday I dj'ed at Savalas with the Captain and StarEyes. StarEyes is a hot ass chick dj so there were some guy groupie dudes there. Lotsa flatbrimmed New Era caps and gold grills and skinny white boy hip hoppers with skintight jeans and air jordans- but these guys were only in there for a quick second. Of course me and the Captain (this dude's single ladies so you better jump on him) attracted the ladies there, so it was a great poonspot for the guys. Tuesday night I'm going to Amy Meneses' Nacotheque spanish pop-punk dance party at the Delancey . My girl Molly (Peechees, Bratmobile, Frumpies) formed a new band after all these years being bandless and managing the Donnas. I guess she recruited former ex-Peechee Carlos and 2 young punk guys from Spain and they play their first show ever at Nacotheque. Anything Amy is involved with always contains hot guys and girls + add Molly Neuman's new band and I would guess Delancey will be a nice cockspot and poonspot. plus it's FREE!!!!

Sirs Marlowe

2006-06-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, newly single, still not blind. Bembe? What the hell are you thinking? And I heard another positive field report on Marlowe+Sons. Worth another trip. Shit, it's worth it for their fucking tomatoes.

Also, this Friday, Matt and Kim show, 718 Diner -- if we actually have readers, I envision a catfight. Or an orgy -- one of the two.

Weekend roundup

2006-06-11T16:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, let's see if I get this right:

Friday - We went to Savalas for Punk Ass Jason's new night. More couples than anticipated, and I think a lot of the usual crowd was probably all tuckered out from World Cup action (I know that OJ was here last night, and will get his report). Upon meeting two other friends, we were told the hot place for the evening was Bembe. Evidently we could have had our pick of Brazilian guys. Ok, twist my arm!

We stopped by Cyn on the way back for a nightcap because it was on the way, and I was curious about the weekend crowd. The only action we saw was a drunk Polish guy trying to peel us off the couch.

Saturday - Actually went to a birthday party (in a private residence), where there were several nice looking fellas, including an 18-year-old! Yes ladies, he was totally legal, and totally delicious. I shall echo Pinkeye's sentiments regarding "tenderoini" a few entries back (see "One word: Pratt").

Sunday - What a pleasant surprise! I went to visit my friend Lisa at Zablozki's, and the place was filled will hot, greasy, Euro dudes with bedhead with all eyes glued upon the World Cup. Holy crap, I'm definitely coming back next Sunday. According to this flyer, they have:

"full world cup coverage every day every game!!! 9am-6pm giant 10 ft high definition screen"

Lisa also works Tuesday and Thursday nights, and insists there really are plenty of guys on these nights. I'll have to verify this...I'd imagine as hot as she is she's probably correct.

marlowe and sons

2006-06-10T11:16:00.000-07:00

Was there early, like 7, on Friday for a drink and some olives with friends. Lots of couples (do I just go to the wrong places?), but definitely some cute boys, including one in an Agora tshirt. I am easily impressed.

Thursday Happy Hour

2006-06-08T20:53:00.000-07:00

My friend said, "I hope there aren't any super hot guys here, since I didn't have a chance to go home and change." When we enetered Anytime at about 7:30, I replied, "Your wish has been granted."

We had to come back, because of the dollar drinks. About a half hour later, a few nice looking boys came in, and right before we left, a party of 5 hot ones grabbed a table in the back!! So, all hope is not lost for Anytime.

I also want to welcome my other reporters...I've even invited two actual cute boys, so they can fill us in on where they're all headed.

HOT TIP: There's sure to be an interesting variety of quality dudes at Savalas (Bedford between Grand and South 1st) tomorrow night, especially with Punk Ass Jason DJing.

In your neighborhood

2006-06-08T20:42:00.000-07:00

If you're ever in need of a pick-me-up, you're certain to see some tasty treats here:

North 11th and Wythe Usually you will see a few skating around this corner.

Photoplay (Manhattan Av between Kent and Java) Ok, this is old news, but still enough to keep me from signing up for Netflix.

Juhas Deli and Grocery, corner of Norman and Guernsey The girls in my immediate hood have been keeping an eye on the boy here for a few years now. He's obviously working at the family store...how adorable!!

One word: Pratt

2006-06-08T07:03:00.000-07:00

Reporting to mintnasty: I braved the rain and went to the 5,182nd Todd P Japanther show. I took one step inside, realized some dorks called Squidbotz were still on, and rethought the whole evening. I may not be single, but that doesn't mean I'm blind, and in terms of eye candy, I scoped enough of the crowd to know it was all circus peanuts and laffy taffy. This spot, Micheline's, is perhaps too far out in Bushwick -- the people standing outside would have been equally in their element frying tiny onions at White Castle.

The best Todd P shows, (in hot boy terms), are at Tommy's Tavern in Greenpoint and Union Pool, but even better are the shows with Todd P-type lineups, though not actually sponsored by Todd P -- I mean house parties where bands like Matt and Kim, Aa, and Menegaur play. These are without exception full of HOT PRATT kids. Who gives a fuck if they're 19 -- youth has some serious advantages when you get down to business, am I right ladies?

Anyone care to fill me in on tonight's Japanther show?

2006-06-07T20:27:00.000-07:00

It was way too shitty outside to drag myself all that way on the J, and I have a houseguest. Todd P events are a great feast for the eyes, and I'm sure tonight was no different.

I know I need to establish a rating system, create a logo, etc., and I'll get around to it eventually. Also, I need READER TIPS! The grand plan is to create an Excel doc of local establishments, and days of the week. This way you can print it out and put it on your mirror; you'll know the best nights and places to find the kind of boy you want.

Manhattan contributors are also welcome!

HOT TIP: OJ said that Royal Oak had lots of good looking people on Sunday. Hmm...that place has been totally hit or miss lately.

from the field...

2006-06-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

Psychotic Reaction, Black Betty , Tuesday Nights

(courtesy of another dedicated embed!)

I will admit I was highly amused when asked to do a field report for Black Betty on a Tuesday night. Admittedly I do go there every Tuesday, but it does not really appeal as a pickup joint. Why is that? Possibly because I never pick people up, but more likely, because it's, you know, full of couples! Oh they're hot! But they are all hand in hand. It is a Noah's Ark of hipsters. If the world ended, and we had to repopulate with the denizens of Black Betty on Tuesday nights, the new race would do well. The vibe is always awesome and I have a great time but there is no one there to flirt with--the only two single guys were these two tall musicians who were assiduously loving the ladies down. Way, way, down. $2 PBRs for those of you who like to drown your sorrows

The secret to "goth dancing"

2006-06-06T19:32:00.000-07:00

OJ revealed his secret to goth dancing this evening...pretend you are pulling taffy.

Galapagos is normally abysmal for this sort of thing. You know how a lot of bars have that older guy sitting to the side for the sole objective of appearing nonchalant and "cool" in hopes of picking up a young impressionable chick? Galapagos is full of 'em on an average night.

Thankfully, the Bellmer Dolls crowd was a pick-me-up; if you like fellas with pretty hair, black attire, and a bit of rugged smeary eyeliner, this was the place to be. Granted, there were plenty of "gay boyfriends," (what a waste! "hello, will you insert your penis into my poon just this once? it won't kill you!") but they still enhanced the overall hotness of the event.

HOT TIP: I believe there's another Bellmer party at Union Pool on the 14, and it's a Todd P event. Shit, that's 3 things in your favor right there!

OJ against a sexy backdrop

My first contributor!

2006-06-06T08:43:00.000-07:00

From one of my trusty field reporters:

Exodus Gym

During the day you can find a few alterna-hotties here, but you have to wonder why they are not at work. Cute bboy during the day says "bartender" to me. Or "girlfriend payiing the bills." Then again, I'm there during the day, so who am I to judge? Enjoy your afternoon delight! And at night, Exodus provides all the fratty muscle types you could ever want! If you're tired of going to the West Side to meet a guy who says "Whoa, I really like your tattoo," this is the place for you.

Lesbians take note: Lots of hot chicks there, though.

good morning and whatnot

2006-06-06T01:53:00.001-07:00

Yes, Van Gogh's Radio really has free drinks for ladies on Monday nights. Why would I lie about such a thing? Ok, granted, it's not about scoping out the yum yums. But the drinks are freeee!! And yes, we tipped nicely.

Afterwards we ran into some friends (1:30am>?) outside of LuLus on Franklin, just down the road from Van Goghs. Two hot girls, and that guy in that mediocre band we've all met 20 times who never remembers our namesss. My friend found a cab, and I confirmed in the meantime that CoCo666 still had a great layout, yet no one to lay me out. We got the cab and went to Cyn (on North 5th and Bedford, formerly Rain Lounge). Laura the bartender was awesome, and Rob was still in good spirits despite the head cold. These two nice Puerto Rican guys (I think??) escorted us out when the Texan guy started getting weird. Thanks!! Wheeeee, so we went to Subway afterwards, but they weren't serving anymore.

At this point she was licking everything out of desperation

Addendum to Sunday's report

2006-06-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

Brooklyn Kickball, Sundays 6pm-?, McCarren Park

You really can't go wrong here; fresh meat can easily be observed on some of the newer teams, as well as the old standbys. During and afterwards, head to the Turkey's Nest for post-game debauchery...you're bound to end up making out with someone who doesn't mind sneaking into work late on Monday morning.

Maiden field report

2006-06-05T01:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday, June 4

Anytime Cafe, North 6th, 7-9:30 pm

I love those dollar drinks from 6-9, but can do without a lot of the clientele. Jocky boys in white Mexican shirts tenderly tonguing their girlfriends, YUCK. There were a couple of boys at a table in back with a little potential, but overall I'd stay for the drink special and head elsewhere.

Zabloski's, North 6th, "pass-by" at 9:30pm

Eh, I don't know why I bother. Every time I go here, there are dudes in berets and shit, or just people you don't want to deal with. Once in a blue moon there's a cutie, and he's with a chick.

Pete's Candy Store (walkby), 12:15 am

Oh geez, it's always these guys with craggy faces.

Union Pool, 12:30 am

Solidly dependable...less crowded than a weekend night, with the same proportion of handsome young men. However, there weren't a whole lot of people to begin with.

The "Union Pool"

Royal Oak, 1:15 am

We peeked our heads in the door, and there were about 5 people. No sense in spending our alloted second drink here!

"Poor Man's Royal Oak," (I can't remember the name - it's the place with the "Pierogi" sign on N 8th and Havemeyer) 1:20am

Same story here: we just weren't willing to gamble on the 10 or so at this location. We did see a hot guy enter when we were halfway down the block, but decided to move on nonetheless. Then, that adorable brunette you always see on the skateboard skated on by, and we crossed our fingers that he might be going in. Alas, he continued down North 8th.

The Abbey, 1:30am

My friend knew the bartender, and we'd pretty much given up. There were a couple of hot ones in the back, but they were totally gay. Yeah, I know, we were in a gay bar, but it was still a waste. We did see another one who may have been cute, but we were engrossed in our conversation at that point. Regardless, we had a fun night of research!

Mission Statement

2006-06-05T01:10:00.000-07:00

Here's a copy of the Myspace bulletin for this site:

Date: Jun 5, 2006 12:50 AM
Subject: to the ladies of Williamsburg and Greenpoint
Body: I was out with a couple of friends this evening, and we were debating where to go. At some point, we wondered, "where do all the hot boys hang out on Sunday night?" Oddly enough, we also wondered the same thing the previous evening, as well as the week before, and the week before that.

Wouldn't it be great if you at least had an idea where the greatest concentration of delectable specimens were guzzling their PBRs on a given evening? I mean, if you're going to spend your hard-earned money in a drinking establishment, you need to get the most eye candy for the buck. Therefore, I'm going to start a little blog or whatnot, and all you "field reporters" are going to chime in with your recommendations.

Now, I realize "hotness" is subjective. We're going to have to be specific when describing said genre of hotness at a given location, whether it's "unshaven and greasy," "indie," "gay teen hustler," "boy next door," "grown man with skateboard," "hesher," "rockabilly," "euro with MacGuyver hair," etc. To each her own I say!

I shall send the link when it's ready.